Judgement at its Finest

In what strand of our DNA are we programmed to judge others? What is the root cause of the reason we criticize anything? We are all guilty. Some of us try to repress our judgement to appear more politically correct, others not so much. Aside from each individual's level of containment, we all have one thing in common; we are judgmental.

On my walk back to work from being on break this afternoon, I walked passed a lesbian couple holding hands and admiring a wedding dress in the window of a store. They were young, happy and obviously completely in love with each other. They were standing close together, holding hands - a big puddle of lesbian love, really. It melted my heart. The scene made me forget all about the sudden urge to throw frozen poultry and made me smile all in the same three seconds. Still smiling like an idiot, I continued walking. I was still so wrapped up in the scene I just witnessed that I nearly missed another bundle of cuteness. A young couple with a baby - dressed up for Halloween and probably no older than about 6 months old - walked passed me. I was caught off guard when I saw the mom's head flip around Exorcist-style when she noticed the canoodling couple. As her head resumed normal placement on her neck, please explain to me the reason why her eyebrows were knitted together and why her face looked like she just came from a bloody emergency room scene. What in the hell did it matter to her? Were the lesbians bothering her?

So this brings me back to my initial inquiry: why on earth are we so judgmental? Who are we to say that same-sex relationships are unacceptable? Who's to say that one day heterosexual relationships won't be of the minority? How can people be close-minded enough to reject an entire lifestyle? 

In the spirit of honest blogging, I will say this - I was born and raised in the Christian church, knowing nothing else but what I learned in Sunday school. We learned that premarital sex and homosexuality and adultery are all sins. I accepted this as gospel (pun absolutely intended), and didn't give it so much as an afterthought. That is pretty irresponsible if you ask me. I understood that as a Christian, I was supposed to harbor these beliefs as my own, but my comprehension stopped there. I walked around with my nose up at people that were gay or lesbian, believing that their lifestyle was completely wrong and that they were bad people for not trying to be "un-gay". I understand now that those viewpoints are narrow-minded, wrong and irresponsible.

I still call myself a Christian. I believe and accept as truth that these things are sins, that God made Adam and Eve as a representation of how a relationship is intended to be. But I also believe in free will. Each one of us were given the right to love whomever we choose, regardless of ethnicity or gender. Love sees no bounds, and it is our choice to live as we will. I'm glad I've come to this realization, but it's hard to accept more narrow-minded thinking now. That was my case. I judged because of something I unconditionally bought into. There are millions of other reasons. Jealousy. Arrogance. Ignorance.

All that to say it makes me so sad that people can't just accept that there are circumstances different than their own. This is no different from the racial equality issues from the 1960's. The overt suppression the African American population suffered during the Civil Rights Era was crushing. The oppression that gays are facing today can be likened to that of the 1960's. And their fight is certainly not over. Look at how long it took for the majority of our nation to accept that black people are not a lesser people. Sure, gays have had wins sporadically since the '50's:

1951: The first national gay rights organization is formed by Harry Hay, considered today to be the founder of the gay rights movement.

1973: The American Psychiatric Association takes homosexuality off of the list of mental disorders.

1993: "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" was instituted for the US military, banning homosexual activity from the military, but still allowing gays to serve.

2000: Vermont is officially the first state to recognize civil unions - entitling gay couples to everything straight, married couples are entitled to, short of the title. (Kind of a slap in the face, no?)

2007: House of Representatives institute a law keeping employers from discriminating against gays in the workplace.

2008: Supreme Court of California decides that gay couples have the right to marry (May). 

2010: California judge repeals the ban on Prop 8, and reinstates the rights for gay couples to marry.

These are all wonderful things, but with each advance in the movement for equality for gays and lesbians comes with its setbacks as well. After the passing of most of the pieces of legislation came strong political and social upheaval. President Clinton attempted to overturn the prohibition of gays in the military after the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" legislation was implemented. This attempt was met with strong opposition, and was compromised by discharge of thousands of openly gay men and women. In May 2008, the Supreme Court of California ruled that same-sex couples had a constitutional right to marry. Six short months and 18,000 married couples later, voters approved a ban on Proposition 8, forbidding any further marriages of same-sex couples. Jerry Brown, the Attorney General, asked the Supreme Court of California to reconsider the constitutionality of the ban. Luckily, the new marriages were honored, but the ban was upheld.

Unfortunately, laws can only do so much. They can't stop people from thinking or feeling a certain way. That will always be the case, regardless of the issue. Close-mindedness and ignorance are diseases. Isn't it so easy to judge? Why is it so much harder to reject brash judgement and accept things that are different? I guess that's the ugly truth though, isn't it? Kind of a beautiful disaster. We all bring to the collective table diversity and wholeness, but with diversity comes its ugly cousin adversity. It doesn't have to, but I think that's the reality of things. 

So rock on, wedding dress gazers. And screw you, stupid woman with the baby. Wipe that nasty look off your face, and stop being jealous of the two chicks in love. Hopefully one day you'll remember what that feels like. Oh also, go ahead and drive home in that BMW SUV you've got, find your calendar, flip it closed and let me know what year it reads on the front. If it doesn't say 2010, it is beyond time to clean your house. But if it does, my baby-toting friend, realize that you own a laminated book of pictures and dates that is infinitely more wise than you.