Again.

Here I am. Awake. Laying in bed. Alone. My Loneliness Capacitor hath overfloweth.


I am so sick of being without him. I didn't know feeling like this could get to be so intense. I guess its a blessing being able to feel this strongly about someone, but it's sure hard to believe that when you feel so far away. I ache for nothing more than to hold his hand or to kiss him goodnight.

1 year, 3 months

It's a wonder how we've made it this far and grown this much. When you told me you were leaving again after two weeks of being home from a seven month deployment, my lungs emptied. My eyes stung. My mouth probably hung open like one of those silly-looking Venus Fly Trap plants. You told me that your commitment was three years' duration and I asked if I could take a few days to think. You nervously obliged, and in a day's time, I had my answer. You've always been worth the sacrifice. You always will be.

It hasn't been easy, sitting at home waiting for those couple weeks of blissful togetherness. Poor us though, huh? Traveling through Europe together. What an amazing opportunity for you to work and live in different countries. To travel to places mostly only ever read about. And to be able to expose me to these things too. I am unbelievably lucky to have the opportunity that I do, to use your duty as an excuse to see the world with you.

It's been kind of tricky, redefining normalcy. Our relationship is by no means traditional. It never has been, so why should we expect it to be any different now? Even though we've known each other three years now (has it really been that long?), we have only been a couple for two, and only six months and three weeks of that has been spent face-to-face. We have fought, we have cried, we've been reunited, we've plotted and schemed, we have laughed and we have discovered the beauty of the webcam. There have been days were insecurities get the best of us, and there are days where that Mont Blanc climb would seem like cake. We've been plotted against, and we've been rooted for. There have been packages and flowers sent over thousands of miles. This thing is not easy, but oh my goodness, babe, it has been one hell of a ride.

You make the absolute best partner to have being faced with this separation. I could not imagine going through this for or with anyone else. You do your part flawlessly. I appreciate every sacrifice, every stupid joke to cure a tearful day, every message you send. The effort you put forth speaks volumes about your commitment and feelings for me, us and our future. I continue to wait for you because I see that you are always wanting the best for us.

As we near our two year anniversary, I can't help but be nostalgic. It's a trip to think about everything that we have been through to make this relationship work thus far. I'm so proud of us. I am so proud of you, everything you are, who you've become and the man you're becoming. I've always said this about the day we met at Sushi Itto - I had no idea why you were put into my life, but I immediately knew you were someone special, someone I wanted to know, and someone I wanted to know me. Oh, and aren't I glad you do. You know me inside and out. Sometimes you know me better than I know myself. Thank you for everything - your patience, your love, dedication, humor, loyalty. Here's to our time together and our time apart. Here's to our history and our future. Here's to us.

I love you more than I could ever tell you, but look forward to spending the rest of my life showing you.