Dear Girlfriend

Dear civilian girlfriend/fiancé/wife,
I mean no disrespect by this letter, I'm just having a hard day and want to bitch. I'm jealous and bitter at the fact that you get to spend every minute with your man if you want to. I hate looking over and seeing you two in the grocery store arguing over getting boneless or bone-in chicken for dinner. I also hate seeing you two cuddling in the movie theater. Don't even get me started on you complaining that it's "been two days since I've seen him". Do you know how long it's been since I've even been in the same country as my boyfriend? I'll oblige you by telling you the truth. It's been nine months. Almost a year since I've kissed him. Seen his eyes. Held his hand. Smelled his stinky morning breath. Gotten cranky over mundane household duties. Seeing you two in the grocery store arguing over poultry makes me want to throw it at you two. Get a room.

I recognize my free-will in the choices that I make in all aspects of my life. I have chosen to enter into a relationship with someone in the military, and that requires of me some different things than you are accustomed to in your relationship. I have chosen to stay with my boyfriend even though he has been forthright in telling me that he will be overseas for three years. I was not tricked into this long-term, long-distance relationship. I know exactly what I have gotten myself into, and also what is expected of me. I don't think any of these expectations are unrealistic, as this is the "norm" I have chosen to accept as a military girlfriend. With this as my new standard of "normal", I have also come to terms with the sacrifices that need to be made, and equipped with the knowledge that even though there are thousands upon thousands of miles between us, we are never separate. And I also realize that it's hard to understand and empathize with how I'm feeling today, because you don't know what this situation is like.

But please, do me a favor, and make the absolute most out of everything when you're with him. Appreciate the mundane. The bickering over chicken. I miss that. I miss stinky morning breath. Tell him you love him like you won't see him tomorrow. Make him sweets and lasagna and steak and pie for no reason. And boys, buy her flowers and a card because you think she's cute when she's in her sweats. Even when you fight, take a minute to think about all the reasons you love that person, and tell them. Savor those smooches. Count and name all their smiles - you know, the one where they know you think you're being funny, but that joke you told was really stupid. And the one where you burned dinner and you're all upset, but it's okay because you can order pizza. I miss driving with him, hearing him sing in silly voices. Feeling rushed because I know I'm making us late by changing my outfit 34 times, knowing that we're just going to the movies. Take note of these things and put into perspective how important the small things are.

We'll get our time to be the annoying grocery store couple. It's a long way off, but we'll be deserving of it. But take this letter not in offense, but as a porthole into my life. I am indeed a military girlfriend, and a proud wearer of that title. It's the hardest job I've ever had, but by far the most rewarding. And when I write you angry letters like this or throw frozen food at you and your dude, know that under that awesomely strong pitch is a girl that misses her man, who longs for you to understand the importance of appreciating your significant other.

Get off the computer and go hug, text, smooch, or snuggle your honey. And think of me. Well, maybe not. That's a smidge creepy. But think about what I said at least, and whisper a little encouragement and love to us military gals. At one point or another, we're all gunna need it. :)

You rock for putting up with my grumpiness, and thanks for reading.

Love,
Jen
Your Local (or not so much) Military GF